and it is properly stinking up the whole floor of the house

urgh

pretty people

come and let me hug you　

• I am thirsty
• But I can’t decide between tea or Dr Pepper
• and I don’t know what film to watch
• or where I want to go on Holiday
• I want to watch tonights episode of Game of Thrones
• I have to ring the doctors tomorrow holy shit >_< nooo
• rrrrrrgjgdigjergmbfhertgjirnfmktg generally.

You know how I’m going to Scotland next month? We’re spending the first week in Ardnamurchan but my dad has asked me to pick where we go for the next week.

It doesn’t even have to be in Scotland. He is considering Cambridge again but URGH at that drive. Plus Scotlaaaaand~

But we are going close enough to where I wanted to go anyway that I can’t just be like “Glenfinnan!” because that’s only 40 miles away from where we’ll be the first week.

DECISIONS.

IF ANY OF YOU WOULD RECOMMEND SOMEWHERE PRETTY (and rural, not a city/towny place) IN SCOTLAND THEN TELL MEEE~?

I’m a sweating fat kid standing on the edge of the subway platform staring at the tracks. I’m seventeen years old, weigh 296 pounds, and I’m six-foot-one. I have a crew cut, yes a crew cut, sallow skin, and the kind of mouth that puckers when I breathe. I’, wearing a shirt that reads Miami Beach - Spring Break 1997, and huge, bland tan pants - the only kind of pants I own. Eight pairs, all tan.

It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m standing just over the yellow line trying to decide whether people would laugh if I jumped. Would it be funny if the Fat Kid got splattered by a subway train? Is that funny? I’m not being facetious; I really want to know. Like it or not, apparently there’s something funny about fat people. Something unpredictable. Like when I put on my jacket and everyone in the hallway stifles laughter. Or when I stand up after sitting in the cafeteria and Jennifer Maraday, Brooke Rodriguez, and Amy Glover all bust a gut. I don’t get angry. I just think, What was funny about that? Did my butt jiggle? Did I make the bench creak so that it sounded like a fart? Did I leave an indentation? There’s got to be something, right? Right?

So it’s not a stretch to be standing on the wrong side of the yellow line giving serious thought to whether people would laugh if I threw myself in front of the F train. And that’s the one thing that can’t happen. People can’t laugh. Even I deserve a decent suicide.

You should all read this book. Or if movies are your thing, go back the kickstarter!! The film has already been made, and looks amazing, but can’t get a distributor, because they can’t make $100 million on a movie about punk music and a fat kid.